Dean Vernon Wormer: The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.
One of my first memories of college was attending the poster sale at the Kansas Union. The poster sale was A BIG DEAL. Personally, I attended intending to pick out my Radiohead posters and my Beatles posters and my poster of The Kiss to convey to the ladies in my all-girls dorm that I was way too cool for school (and also a terrifying and boring person to be around). While there, I noticed almost every single dude at the poster sale picking out a variation of this photo:
Why were people buying that poster? I have no idea. Drinking is cool, I guess? College is cool? The poster is cool? Cool.
Now I see– Animal House! So Animal House is kind of like all of the good parts of Old School plus American Pie plus PCU? But better? I understand. I wouldn’t say I have anything particularly deep or thoughtful to say about Animal House, but isn’t that the point? It’s funny, it’s gross, it’s really vulgar and there are a lot of boobs. John Belushi’s physical comedy is perfect, he doesn’t need to say a single word to be funny. Aside from a few SNL sketches I’ve seen with him, this is my first true exposure to his genius. I love it.
I highly recommend Animal House if you have a gross, goofy semi-bro like sense of humor. I do; I learned it from my dad. I only hope his fraternity years (Sigma Nu, Auburn University) were nothing like this. If they were, I do not want to know.
I do have a few lingering questions following my viewing of Animal House. They are as follows:
- Do fraternities REALLY do the paddle spanking thing during fraternity initiation?
- Do fraternities really have access to old tests? I guess that makes sense. Now I wish I had joined a fraternity.
- Do fraternities really deal with charter issues all that often?
- Are toga parties that exciting?
- Why is Shout such a great song to dance to?
- Wouldn’t you cheat on your boyfriend with Donald Sutherland? I know I would.
- Why is Jim Belushi so inferior to John Belushi?
- What the hell else we s’posed to do, you moron?
Face palm moment:
Favorite part: Hi, Donald Sutherland is in this movie. You get to see his butt. Have a nice day.
The “I missed that in pop culture trivia” moment: Awww, hello Eric Stratton, Rush Chairman. That one goes out to my friend Andy who has diabetes.
This scene as well:
Dean Vernon Wormer: Here are your grade point avarages. Mr. Kroger: two C’s, two D’s and an F. That’s a 1.2. Congratulations, Kroger. You’re at the top of the Delta pledge class. Mr. Dorfman?
Flounder: [drunk] Hello!
Dean Vernon Wormer: 0.2… Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta house? 1.6; four C’s and an F. A fine example you set! Daniel Simpson Day… HAS no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Blu…
[sees Bluto with a pair of pencils in his nostrils]
Dean Vernon Wormer: Mr. Blutarsky… zero… point… zero.
Regrettable tardiness scale (out of 10): 24 out of 10. My GPA was a 0.2 in college; fat, drunk and stupid is an awesome way to go through life.